Category Archives: Gender Differences

Avra Kadavra

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I once had a friend who was extremely resourceful. He dazzled me with magic tricks. Pulled strings and made the impossible happen. Made me chuckle when i wanted to curse. Very charming indeed. Not to mention adorable! But these things just made him attractive on the outside. And what is a man if he has no INNER substance? Unless and untill he can prove he’s about more than flashy tricks, I don’t suppose he can be considered a real man at all.  I dont say this from a place of malice or bitterness. I say it because it’s the truth. Period.
Charades can be kept up for as long as the people playing are on the same page.  Once confusion enters the equation, the illusion begins to break down. It becomes less powerful. Remember the feeling of awe that possesd Dorothy, Scarecrow and Tinman BEFORE they saw the little man behind the curtain? What about after? Deep down, you and I yearn for something more than just magic. That’s why Jesus didnt just perform miracles. He ministered to people. Showed them Christ’s love through his actions (dying on the cross and stuff like that lol). Magic is great for catching peoples attention. Just remember how short folks attention spans can be.

When Passivity Meets Desparation…

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The ugly truth

If you’ve been part of a singles/young adults group for any lengthy period of time, chances are you’ve noticed that the majority of the men in these groups posses a very PASSIVE mentality when it comes to finding a mate. Conversely, many of the female members of these groups tend posses a more AGGRESSIVE mindset when it comes to finding a mate. These two opposing viewpoints often result in one or both of the following 2 scenarios:

SCENARIO #1) One male dating multiple (seemingly exclusive) female friends. There are many men in the church who see nothing wrong with this, and while, to some, playing the field may seem harmless, a few honest questions could prove the contrary. Should you really be DATING your FRIEND? In spending so much quality alone time with someone to whom you’ve made no formal commitment, aren’t you really asking for risking an unwanted emotional attachment? Shouldn’t you be putting her best interest above your own? Wouldn’t it be a better idea? to commit to dating one person exclusively with the purpose of seeing whether or not they’re marriage material?

SCENARIO #2) One or more? particularly aggressive women in hot pursuit of an uninterested or at most vaguely interested man. Again, there are many women in the church who see nothing wrong with this. If you happen to be one of those women, ask yourself these questions. Do you really want to be with someone you had to chase, seduce, trap or otherwise manipulate into liking you?? Doesn’t the bible say HE who finds a wife finds a good thing? (There’s a fine line between making yourself findable and doing the finding…) What does pursuing an uninterested man say about you and your self-worth? Is the object of your pursuit a crush or an idol? Jeremiah (2:24) paints a very unattractive picture of Isreal’s idolatry. I don’t know about you, but i can do without being compared to a horny she-donkey….

So where does this leave us? Are you thinking twice about whether you’re a Passive Paul or a Desperate Denise? Are you asking yourself some difficult questions and perhaps taking some initiative to counteract this destructive behavior? What are your thoughts on passivity amongst Christian singles?