Note: This entry is about how love can be created or hindered through right and wrong first impressions. This entry does not speak to situations where one or more people are being detained for a crime or for the purposes of intervention. In those cases the detainees should be kept for as long as is seen fit

The one thing that establishes a negotiator as a non-threatening entity is the fact that they enter a situation with their hands in the air and no (discernible) weaponry. This is a major factor in helping them establish credibility when creating dialogue with someone. The negotiator is thinking “I have nothing to loose. I am here to help you. I have no alterior motives”

The best way to establish loving relationships is by approaching like a negotiator. Think about it. Love is defined as meeting someone at the place of their need. In order to do this, you have to humble yourself. Your pride must be nothing. Your aspirations must be nothing. Your desires must be nothing. You’re going in with no weapons so ultimately your life must be nothing. This is the only way to become someone who has no underlying motives. Once you have no underlying motives, you’re free to put other’s needs ahead of your own.

Could Jesus’ crucifixion be compared to a lamb being led to the slaughter if he were packing an AK-47? No… I think not. He approached his fate with his “hands in the air”. He was the epitome of humility. Because of that, we can rest assured that he only had our best interests at heart and no one can accuse him of sacrificing himself for any reason other than absolute love.

Here’s an example. A few experimental trials were done on Mcdonalds hamburgers and, from the results, we know that they can be left out for many  years without decomposing. This is NOT normal food behavior. How do we know this isn’t normal? Because throughout history, food has decomposed in a matter of days. It’s an established fact. We’ve observed it over and over in controlled trials. Now, if I only go off of the experimental trial results, I might assume that a 10yr old tub of cottage cheese would be safe to eat. I would be wrong.

As humans we like to experiment. We want to twist nobs, push buttons, pull levers. We want to see if we can effect the outcome or see what the outcome will be. Nothing wrong with that! In fact it’s great, IF we aren’t using the results to make educated guesses. If you want results that will help you make real decisions, it’s probably best to lead with observation.  Observe to see whether action is necessary, then act honestly and accordingly. Acting first often produces meaningless results and, in turn, meaningless applications of those results. Remember, God is at work, even when we are not. And not only does he know the outcome or results,  he knows the best way to apply them.

This small principal can be applied to anything (tangible or intangible) that you feel may may be lost. Whether its something as small as your left sock or as big as your will to perservere, God knows where it went. He’ll help you find it. And if not, you still shouldnt worry because he’s ultimately accountable for what happens to it (although, I think he’ll help you find  your perserverance sooner or later lol). I remember how we worried ourselves sick over my granddad. What if he’s cold? What if he’s hungry? What if he’s frightened? Ultimately I came to the conclusion that, even  if any of those scenarios were true, God was still in control.  We may loose things, but God never looses control.

Eventually we found gramps safe and sound. He’d fallen and his caretaker had checked him into the hospital. Only, he decided not to tell anybody where he was. #cantakerousoldfolks. While we were all worried sick, he’d been chillin’ in a comfy bed with a warm blanket. Hed been watching cable, chowing down on applesauce and pudding. Probably bossing the nurses around. He wasn’t lost at all!

If you feel you’ve lost something that’s beyond being found, remember, nothing is ever lost to God. He’s never confused, frightened or distracted. He knows where everything is… ALL of the time.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

With all of the hubub flying around about the return of McDonalds’ McRib sandwich, I decided to post a video exploring the different types of McSandwiches, and how each one relates in some type of way to your sexual conduct.

A few questions we should all ask ourselves:
1. Am I a McSandwich?
2. What will it take for me to be the McSushi?
3. Why should I strive to be the McSushi?

I could go into great detail explaining the benefits (spiritual and non) of waiting for sex until marriage. But instead of typing your ear off, i’ll leave you with a few resources that I find helpful:

WebMd: Happier Marriages, More Satisfying Sex Among the Perks, Study Finds

Boundless.org: It’s not about waiting

Waitingtillmarriage.org: A whole host of resources, inspiration and encouragement for those who’ve chosen to wait

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

I’ll be posting videos from my youtube channel periodically. This one discusses how helping other people puts your problems into perspective.

We have all had to work with a Moody McSourface at some point in time. They are never happy or satisfied. Either conspicuously silent or drowning out all other sound with their incessant complaining. They suck all of the life out of the room and their sole goal in life is to make sure everyone else knows that they are unhappy. They are adults, but only biologically. Emotionally, they are still very much children. How do you handle Moody McSourface? If you are like me, your first instinct is to administer a verbal beat-down unpleasantry. But, hopefully my discernment overrides my instinct, and I’m reminded that I’m supposed to love Mr. McSourface, not hurt him. How though? How does one love such an unlovely character?

One good way to love the unlovely is to empathize with them. They didn’t just wake up one morning and decide to be a crabby patty. More than likely, their negativity is a reaction to their life circumstances. They could be lonely, unhappy with themselves, or going through financial trouble. Maybe their parents just plain dropped the ball. Whatever the reason, its important to understand that their attitude is driven by their circumstances.

The sooner we begin to empathize, the sooner we can see them the way Christ saw us all; as victims of sin. And if Christ saw fit to die for Moody McSourface, shouldn’t we at least give loving him a try?

Every now and then, usually in the midst of complaining about a failed relationship, I’ll hear a man refer to himself as “a GOOD man”. He’ll then rattle off a list of attributes that he thinks make him a “good” man. The list usually goes as follows:

• I have a job
• I have a degree
• I have my own transportation
• I don’t have any illegitimate children
• I don’t live in my parent’s basement
• I don’t have a criminal record
• etc,

Every item on that list is ego driven and has to to with status, material possessions, and how a man is perceived by himself and others. And while, in the world’s view, all of these qualities are nice to have, they do not  make a man”good” (at least, not by any standard that matters).

The real criteria for a “good” man are humility/submission driven, and have to do with the way a man perceives God. If he is truly making God bigger than himself and his own agenda, he’ll more than likely possess these qualities:

• truthful
• gentle
• self-controlled
• faithful/reliable
• avoids excess
• admits when he is wrong
• etc., (catch more qualities in proverbs)

Note that none of the qualities in this list can be achieved with money or self-reliance. In order to posses the qualities of a “good” man, you must continually rely upon and submit to the power of an inherently good God.