Take some.
That is all.
Responsibility.
2
Priorities
This is just a quick reminder (mostly to myself) that Christ and our walk with Him should always take first priority. Life is so complicated nowadays. There are so many opportunities to get sidetracked or caught up. We worry about our finances, jobs, politics, love lives, health, happiness, ect. On top of that, we spend tons of precious time and money buying and doing things that are ultimately irrelevant.
The real crime isn’t worrying about your lack of finances, or buying yourself that new flat screen tv or spending entire Saturday watching Netflix. These things only become a problem when they take priority over God. I Corinthians 3:11 states “For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ”. In other words, the only life of any significance is that lived in and for Christ. So the next time something’s weighing heavily on your mind or taxing heavily on your time, ask yourself if your priorities need to be reworked.
Praying Mantis, Giant Squid, Sovereign God
I spent some time reading about the mating habits of praying mantis and giant squids today (I may not be a nerd, but i have excellent nerd potential). In a way, I think the sexual behavior of both creatures provides a little insight in regards to how God’s sovereignty is at work in our love lives (or lack therof).
Take the giant squid. Although never actually observed, it’s mating process has been widely theorized and can only be described as extremely violent and exquisitely painful. One or both creatures end up maimed or even dead. Despite all of this, they keep reproducing! Why? Because they cannot deny their instinctual drive to be fruitful and multiply.
The same can be said for the praying mantis. Sometimes the female mantis devours the male after sex. It’s not as if the male doesn’t know hes taking a huge risk by courting her. Some even try to choose females who’ve recently eaten and aren’t as hungry. Despite the risk, they are drawn to mate and inevitably die. Why? They are playing their part in God’s sovereign plan.
And then there’s you and me. We have a part to play in God’s grand design as well. Proverbs 16:9 says ”A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” What does that mean for you? Well, if you’re like the male mantis, you know that love is risky. Perhaps you’re biding your time, waiting for the perfect partner (one who isn’t going to eat you alive). But you should know that even the best PLAN in the world isn’t going to give you complete control over you future. Maybe you’re like the giant squid. You PLAN on love being extremely painful, but you’re committed to finding that special someone. To you, I say take heart! You can’t be sure of anything. You are seeing through a glass darkly. Only God knows how your future will unfold.
In view of God’s sovereignty,excessive planning almost seems silly now doesn’t it? It’s sort of like using a map you’ve drawn yourself … with crayons… from memory. Wake up! God is using OnStar!
The Big “C” Part Two– All Christians are Hypocrites
Welcome to part two of the “Big C”, a series of posts examining the reasons most young adults (and older ones too) give for not going to church. In this post we’ll tackle one of the MOST widely used excuses for not attending church:
“All Christians are hypocrites”
Ahh, the dreaded H word. Just so we’re all on the same page, lets start off with a definition. According to Mirriam-Webster, a hypocrite is:
1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings
Now… I’ll proceed to poke holes in your flimsy excuse with my pointy stick of truth.
Nowhere in the above definition does it state that the word “Hypocrite” is to be applied only to Christians. In fact, I’m willing to bet that almost all of us have fit this description at some point in time. That’s right, you, me, uncle Joe, errrrrbody. We all try to appear more virtuous than we actually are. We all contradict ourselves from time to time. The phrase “Actions speak louder than words” wasn’t coined specifically for Christians. The only person who’s NEVER said one thing and done the exact opposite is Jesus Christ himself. We’re all hypocritical. Therefore, saying all Christians are hypocrites is like saying all Buddhists have skin.
There are plenty of people who label themselves Christians simply because it sounds good. But, there are also many people who see Christianity as a lifestyle and sincerely desire to have a relationship with God. This brings me to my second point: Never make vast sweeping assumptions about an entire group of people unless you’ve personally encountered the ENTIRE group of people. Every cop I’ve ever met has been a complete jerk. Does that mean all cops are jerks? Of course not. Does that mean all cops are perfect? Of course not. The same goes for Christians. Jimmy Swaggart is a Christian. So am I. Does his hypocrisy make my faith any less credible? No, because it’s MY faith.
Thirdly, even if all Christians were hypocrites (and we’re not); what difference should it make to you? Do you have a severe allergy to hypocrisy? Would you die if you were forced to sit next to a hypocrite? I doubt it. Could it impede your spiritual growth? Maybe (we’ll deal with that in a later post). The point is to START growing! Besides, as I said before, there are plenty of real, non-hypocritical Christians out there. You just have to get off of your lazy butt and go find them. I did. And, give or take the normal ups and downs of the exploratory process, it’s definitely payed off!
Because Food Isn’t Afraid of Commitment
LOL! I love this clip. Even though it’s hilarious, I’m sure it resonates on some deeper level with a lot of single women. It definitely resonates with me. I…. *voice trails off as she searches for the brownie mix*
Chastity
I was listening to an interesting conversation on the radio one morning last week. The DJ posed this question: “Is it still considered wrong to sleep with a man on the first date?” You’ll be surprised to know (or maybe you won’t be surprised at all) that the majority of the people who called in didn’t think there was anything wrong with sex on the first date. In fact, three of the women who called in said, not only did they sleep with their partner on the first date, but that they’d been happily married to that same man for over 10 years! Only two people advocated waiting until the 2nd or 3rd date and, of course, no one mentioned waiting until marriage. I’m ashamed to admit that my immediate thoughts were “You see God? YOUR way is backwards. Lust works. Chastity sucks.” I’ve since been convicted.
CHASTITY DOES NOT SUCK. SHE IS WONDERFUL, SHE IS BEAUTIFUL AND I’M PROUD TO BE HER FRIEND. SHE MAY NOT BE POPULAR BUT SHE IS FAITHFUL. SHE MAY NOT BE FLASHY OR EXCITING… AND SOMETIMES SHE FRUSTRATES THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME, BUT SHE’S HONEST (BRUTALLY SO). UNLIKE LUST, SHE MOVES REALLY SLOW AND AT TIMES IT’S HARD TO SEE THINGS FROM HER POINT OF VIEW. NONETHELESS, WE’RE FRIENDS, AND, IF YOU KNOW HER, YOU SHOULD CONSIDER YOURSELF BLESSED.
I’m not bashing non-virgins; I would then have to bash myself. I am not putting virgins on a pedestal; purity does not equal salvation and chasteness alone does not constitute a relationship with the Most High. I’m simply writing to give Chastity her props and let her know how much she’s appreciated.
What about you? Have you been friends with Chastity from the very beginning? Did you start hanging with her after your “friend” Lust sold you out? Are you and Chastity even on speaking terms?
Open Wounds
We’ve all been emotionally wounded at some point in our lives. Some of us have been lucky enough to escape with minor flesh wounds. Some of us incurred 2nd and 3rd degree lacerations. For some of us, the damage was so severe that we chose to become emotional amputees, cutting off the damaged parts and living as cripples. Pain happens, right? It’s a part of life.? A problem arises, however, when we choose to let our past pain dictate our future faithwalk.
2nd Corinthians 5:17 states that if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! But none of us really believes that (or at least, we behave like we don’t). Instead of taking hold of emotional healing and conducting ourselves as “new” creatures in Christ, we choose to limp around, agonizing over our open wounds, bleeding all over the place, making a mess of things. The blood loss causes us to suffer from spiritual weakness. We loose proper spiritual perspective because the only thing we choose to focus on is our pain.. Like wounded animals, we go into self preservation mode, so everything we do is driven by a perceived need to survive and a desire to avoid vulnerability. This makes it very difficult to cultivate the kind of sincere, loving relationships that are essential to growth.
When we let our wounds go untended, it isn’t only to our detriment, but to the detriment of those who need our help. Think about it. Would a surgeon be allowed into the operating room? if he were bleeding from an open wound? Of course not! He wouldn’t even be allowed to scrub in. He would first have to have his own wounds stitched up before he performed surgery on anyone else. If the surgeon enters the operating room without first getting stitched up, he becomes a danger to himself AND his patient. The same concept applies to you and I. We cannot properly minister to anyone, if we ourselves are in danger of bleeding out.
In closing, let’s self assess. Are you an emotional bleeder? A spiritual hemophiliac? If so, be pro-active. Therapy is underrated! As I’m writing this, Ron Artest is thanking his psychiatrist… and he just won the title! What could therapy do for you? Prayer? Spiritual council? Y0u owe it to yourself to do whatever you can to stop the bleeding.? Put a band-aid on it homie.
Priorities
Am I wrong in assuming that if you’ve met someone you’re interested in, you would naturally want to make seeing them a priority? Perhaps not as big a priority as? your family, or? job, or even the nba finals. But I think its safe to assume that someone who’s genuinely interested would rather see me than sit at home alone picking their nose (or participating in some other insignificant activity). Yes, chill time is always important. However, if you’ve been talking to someone for two weeks and 1.) have yet to ask them out on an actual date, 2.) only call them at an hour when all other mentally sound human beings are asleep and 3.) prefer to simply “swing by” whenever its most convenient for you, then its safe to say that not only are they not a priority to you, but your INTENTIONS are HIGHLY suspect.
*exasperated sigh*
On to the next one …
When Passivity Meets Desparation…
If you’ve been part of a singles/young adults group for any lengthy period of time, chances are you’ve noticed that the majority of the men in these groups posses a very PASSIVE mentality when it comes to finding a mate. Conversely, many of the female members of these groups tend posses a more AGGRESSIVE mindset when it comes to finding a mate. These two opposing viewpoints often result in one or both of the following 2 scenarios:
SCENARIO #1) One male dating multiple (seemingly exclusive) female friends. There are many men in the church who see nothing wrong with this, and while, to some, playing the field may seem harmless, a few honest questions could prove the contrary. Should you really be DATING your FRIEND? In spending so much quality alone time with someone to whom you’ve made no formal commitment, aren’t you really asking for risking an unwanted emotional attachment? Shouldn’t you be putting her best interest above your own? Wouldn’t it be a better idea? to commit to dating one person exclusively with the purpose of seeing whether or not they’re marriage material?
SCENARIO #2) One or more? particularly aggressive women in hot pursuit of an uninterested or at most vaguely interested man. Again, there are many women in the church who see nothing wrong with this. If you happen to be one of those women, ask yourself these questions. Do you really want to be with someone you had to chase, seduce, trap or otherwise manipulate into liking you?? Doesn’t the bible say HE who finds a wife finds a good thing? (There’s a fine line between making yourself findable and doing the finding…) What does pursuing an uninterested man say about you and your self-worth? Is the object of your pursuit a crush or an idol? Jeremiah (2:24) paints a very unattractive picture of Isreal’s idolatry. I don’t know about you, but i can do without being compared to a horny she-donkey….
So where does this leave us? Are you thinking twice about whether you’re a Passive Paul or a Desperate Denise? Are you asking yourself some difficult questions and perhaps taking some initiative to counteract this destructive behavior? What are your thoughts on passivity amongst Christian singles?
The Big “C” Part One – I don’t need church
Throughout my adult life, I’ve come across quite a few single Christians mainly men that seem to? think that church attendance is optional and that anyone who finds fault in their lack of attendance is either? “judgmental” or “picky”. This has always frustrated me a little. I mean, if the word instructs us to meet together as believers (Hebrews 10:25), shouldn’t we do just that?? What healthy, growing christian wouldn’t try to include worship, ministry and fellowship with other healthy, growing believers as a regular part of their spiritual walk?? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you have to attend church every single Sunday of your life or you’re a dirty heathen. Nor am i saying that if you don’t “feel” like going to church every now and then that you aren’t saved. I’m saying that if you’ve opted out of church attendance altogether (especially in lieu of something far less important like sleeping in or getting a few chores done) then you are in error. (Yeah, I said it!)
I’ve heard lots of excuses as to why people choose not to attend church and my intent with this series is to tackle and rebut a few of the most common ones, starting with the first:
“I don’t need church to have a strong relationship with God”
I’ve hear people say things like “I know plenty of people who don’t attend church and their relationship with God is very strong.”? How strong can one’s relationship with God be if it doesn’t include worshiping and ministering alongside fellow believers? In fact, if your relationship with God involves just “you” and “God”, I’d venture to say it’s pretty weak.? Ephesians 4:2 says “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”How can you obey this directive if you have no “others” to bear with? The relationships you build with others affect your spiritual progress. Its through these relationships that we learn how to love, forgive and encourage one another all while being held accountable to the leadership and guidance of a pastor. This format isn’t something that God just thought up off the top of his head. It was created to help us reach our maximum growth potential and its benefits simply cannot be recreated outside of the church body no matter how much, at times, you wish that were the case. Not with a casual group of peers, not just by reading the bible and not by listening to your favorite televangelist… There is just no substitute for church attendance. It’s irrplaceable.
Stay tuned for the next entry in the Big “C” Series. It tackles hypocrisy in the church.